Ever since I broke up with my boyfriend this summer and really got back into knitting and sewing, my mom has been joking about how I’m having a relationship with my yarn, fabric, knitting needles, and sewing machines. When you think about it, I’ve been with knitting and sewing for far longer than any relationship that I’ve had with a man.
Of course, my latest relationship would have ended regardless of my piece on the side, but a big part of it was my boyfriend’s lack of respect for my prized knitting and sewing tools. He was generally careless, but when he managed to bend two pairs of Addi Turbos, dent the cover of one of my Harmony Guides, ding my sewing machine, and rip a vintage sewing pattern, I was more upset than usual.
He said that his bending the knitting needles and Harmony Guide was really my fault because I had left them on his spot on the couch. I asked if he had seen them before he sat down, and he said yes. I asked why he didn’t move them, or ask me to move them, or sit on the unoccupied other end of the couch, and he couldn’t answer. We hadn’t even planned on seeing each other that night, and I’d said that I was going to be working on baby gifts for my cousins, but he still wanted to come over. He also got mad later that evening when I proceeded to work on said baby gifts while we watched a movie. When I asked why he was upset, since he’d seemed fine with it when we were on the phone that afternoon, he explained that he had assumed that I would find the movie too interesting and not knit in order to watch it. (Non-knitters have such quaint ideas about movies.)
He did apologize for dropping a heavy book on the extended table for my Brother, thereby dinging/bending the little tab that secures it to the (then 2-week-old) machine and tearing a pattern piece that I had sitting on the table. He then started to explain that if I had an organized bookshelf, he would have known where to put the book, and we could have avoided this whole problem. He also said that I shouldn’t have been upset that he had bent my machine because he had helped me to get it back to my apartment after I bought it that summer. Can you see the logic there? Because I can’t.
Of course, I’m not a perfect housekeeper. My life isn’t totally organized, and I fully admit that I probably shouldn’t leave knitting on the couch and that my bookcase could have a more logical organization system with fewer books stacked in front of and on on top of it. (Actually, I may need a new bookcase.) But when you’re dating a man who won’t let you see his apartment because it’s so messy that he’s afraid you’ll break up with him over it, a disorganized bookcase is the least of your worries.
I’m not sure if he was being intentionally passive aggressive with this nonsense, or if he was really so totally clueless about his surroundings that it didn’t strike him as foolish to sit on a stack of knitting supplies, or drop a hardback textbook onto a sewing machine. Now I get to live with damaged equipment, but at least I don’t have to deal with him any longer.
Sewing and knitting are often frustrating, but at least they behave logically. Wool felts when you wash it wrong, and cheap acrylic pills. The sewing machine stitches an uneven seam when the tension is off. Addi Turbos are slippery, Clover bamboo needles are not. And on no occasion will any of these things sulk for weeks without telling you what’s wrong (well, maybe the sewing machine will), or leave dirty socks on the floor in the dining room, or disappear during your cousin’s wedding reception because it’s just too stressful.