If you let me win the Publisher’s Clearing House thingy, I promise to use the money for good and not for evil. I promise that I will buy lots and lots of yarn with it, and the expensive, good yarn, too, so I’ll be supporting small local businesses like the yarn shop, and the small fiber producers and spinners and dyers of the world. I’ll also buy more knitting needles, and I’ll try out different brands made by smaller companies, so I’ll be supporting them, too. On top of all this, I’ll buy a really big house to put all of my yarn in, and I’ll make sure that it’s environmentally friendly with recycled materials and solar panels and whatnot, and furnished with goods from small artisans. Then, I’ll go out and buy lots of old sewing machines, keeping them out of landfills and preserving them for future generations. I’ll also buy lots and lots of fair trade chocolate and tea to fuel my knitting and sewing adventures, and I’ll hire people who were previously earning minimum wage and pay them exorbitantly to clean the trail of chocolate wrappers, dirty teacups, thread cuttings, and yarn ends that I’ll be leaving in my wake.
You have to understand, Universe, that my winning this super prize whatsit will be good for the economy and for the environment. Of course it will be good for me, too, but that’s secondary. I’m really doing this out of compassion for the world. So, please, darling Universe, make this happen for me and for the world.